Alcohol dependence and the treatment of alcoholism began to be discussed more and more frequently and persistently. There is a problem. How to help an alcoholic cope with addiction?
This question is asked by more than one family member with a similar problem, most often the wife of an alcoholic, who dreams that one day her husband will stop drinking. How to help an alcoholic to stop drinking?
When you want to help an alcoholic, you are often accompanied by a subjective feeling about the problem. You are annoyed by alcoholic beverages, which complicate family relationships and contribute to financial difficulties.
A person who is addicted to alcohol can only have the vague impression that the issue is out of control and often does not see the problem of alcohol abuse at all.
He does not understand that he has to do something about alcohol dependence, especially when he is asked to be treated with drugs. The alcoholic sincerely denies that he is.
In the eyes of a drunk, other people who want to help him exaggerate the situation. They are like enemies, not helpers and allies. What can be done to be effective in helping a home drunkard?
How to help an alcoholic to stop drinking?
Paradoxes of help given to a drinker.
More than one wife of a drinking man wondered what family life would look like if her husband stopped drinking. In a fit of grief and anger, she throws up arguments like, "If you loved me, you're done with this alcohol a long time ago. "
By increasing the guilt of the domestic drunkard, the result is that the patient wants to drink. The behavior of alcoholics is not a manifestation of his bad will, it is a consequence of the disease.
His emotions, thinking and will began to be guided by alcohol, from which he finds it difficult to escape. Alcohol becomes a way to suppress sadness, boredom, shame, stress, routine.
The mechanism of addiction is that ethanol excludes negative emotions, giving in return, at least for a short time, positive - joy, relaxation, calm. When he sobers up, despondency overwhelms the person again, and later another bottle or beer becomes the "medicine".
A person who is addicted to alcohol, under the influence of drinks, replaces bad emotions with pleasant ones, which leads to a complete lack of desire to change something in his life. Therefore, the best help for the drinker is to confront the alcoholic with reality when he is sober.
Let him experience the consequences of his drunkenness, for example, waking up on a park bench without a watch and shoes, paying a fine for drunk driving and taking a reprimand from his boss for not showing up for work after an event with colleagues.
Any negative experience of alcohol intoxication will be a signal to the drinker that drinking alcohol is not attractive at all and is a serious problem that creates other difficulties - problems in relationships with family or work.
Unfortunately, many people who want to help a loved one confuse their brains with how to help an alcoholic deal with addiction and make every effort to silence the problem of alcoholism so that the family does not learn about the problem.
Instead of calling the problem "alcoholism" and allowing drunks to experience the negative effects of alcohol abuse, people are doing something completely different.
Thus, the drinking household feels "protected" and can still drink with impunity. Often people who want to free an alcoholic from their shackles unwittingly become drinking helpers and help delay the decision to stop drinking.
The most common victims of codependence are the wives of alcoholics. If the husband is an alcoholic, then he is addicted to a chemical called ethanol, and his wife becomes, oddly enough, an alcoholic dependent on her husband.
She becomes a so-called partner who does not trust anyone in her husband's world and, in desperation, is constantly busy finding a new job to pay off her partner's financial obligations. This makes her lie to the children that her father is ill, denies alcoholism, neglects herself and the children, and ignores her own needs.
This problem also requires some therapy. How to help an alcoholic cope with addiction? Until the alcoholic's wife realizes that she is not helping him, protecting him from the negative effects of alcohol intoxication, the husband will drink.
Co-alcoholism is a series of careless behaviors of an alcoholic partner trying to adapt to a pathological situation. Unfortunately, this only multiplies the subsequent pathologies and problems.
Then the family comes to fight not one but two addictions - alcoholism and co-alcoholism. The wife makes every effort in good faith - she hopes that this will make it easier for the man to get out of addiction. Unfortunately, her efforts have the opposite effect - she unknowingly provokes the disease even more.
He pays a lot of attention, cares, promises, lies, defends - nothing. How to help an alcoholic cope with addiction? To help an alcoholic stop drinking once and for all, you need to stop pretending, admit that you are helpless, and seek professional help.
Helping an alcoholic is an ungrateful role, because the alcoholic will fight fiercely for his drinks. Once you decide to help an alcoholic, it is worth remembering that this is a job for many years, not for one day.
A person who drinks will not change under the influence of one, even the most violent obstacle. Some argue, on the contrary, that it is in itself impossible to help an alcoholic because you can only harm yourself. Encourage people to seek help from specialized centers such as addiction treatment centers and others.
Tips on how to help a person with alcohol dependence
How to help so as not to harm and increase the development of alcoholism?
Here are some tips and tricks to keep in mind when deciding to support and heal a drinker:
- Accept that alcoholism is a chronic disease. Don't look at it as a shame and a disgrace to the family or something that needs to be hidden from the world.
- The alcoholic is like a naughty child who must be punished for lack of discipline and disobedience!
- Do not believe the promises of a drunken family when you realize that it is possible to keep them! An alcoholic can declare his desire for "cosmetic changes", for example, ensures that he will change the type of drink to weaker. Don't expect drastic changes caused by a quarrel or blackmail.
- To be constant! If you said you would do something, please do it. Don't worry about leaving when you're not ready.
- There is no need for reproaches, do not get involved in conflicts, do not read sermons, especially when an alcoholic is intoxicated. He already knows everything you want to inspire him. This behavior only provokes new lies and unjustified promises.
- Do not expect an immediate and quick solution to the problem! Alcoholism is a chronic disease, and even prolonged periods of abstinence do not guarantee that the disease will not return. Make monastery tea every day, it effectively eliminates alcohol and nicotine addiction.
- Do not check how much alcohol you drink, do not put away the purchased bottles, but also do not allow open access to alcohol - this will only push the alcoholic to even more desperate attempts to get alcohol and look for a reason to drink.
- Never drink together in the hope that he will get less and drink less. How can you help an alcoholic stop drinking if you sit and drink together? No way.
- Do not allow the drunkard to lie, do not believe his lies and promises, because in this way you allow him to hope that he is able to outwit his loved ones.
- Try to give the alcoholic support and love. Evaluate his attempts to stay sober. Remember that alcoholism is a disease and you don't have to scold anyone for the disease.
The help of an alcoholic will be most effective if you just leave him alone - do not insist on rehabilitation, do not shout, do not cry, do not pray, do not prepare sick leave, do not borrow money, do not clean up after his drunkenness parties, let him try toarrange things with a hangover. . .
Let him drink at his own risk and risk. The earlier he reaches the bottom, the more likely he is to want to give it up in order to start improving.